Grab your dirty laundry and throw it ABH (Anywhere But Hamper) on an all new LIVE! Speaking of LIVE, what are some of the best live musical performances of all-time? Pat still refrigerates his cereal. Matt accidentally ensnares his own dad in a ticket scam. Coyote Cruise hates the Muppets. Plus, what constitutes a "live" musical performance? Can you guess the top ten songs of 2000? Could Pat realistically play Gru in a live-action "Despicable Me" movie? He ain't a pirate but don't push him on an all new LIVE!
363: Ice Cream Dreams
Grab your NC-17 cone and join us in basic month for an all new LIVE! This week the Boiz are building their dream ice cream treat. What does Matt pair with passionfruit syrup? Why is investigative journalism taking a toll on Pat? Are the nation's zoos actually a giant villain network? Plus, Barack Obama is a bot. Pat is obsessed with strawberry-covered chocolate. Matt uncovers a plot to overthrow the show. All that and affogabbo and it all happens LIVE!
362: Beach Activities
Grab your hovering shade clouds and join us at the beach for an all new LIVE! Basic Month continues with a chat about the best activities at the beach (not to be confused with the Perfect Beach Day, that's a different thing). Pat is done with chips in balls. Matt gets mad about Another Cinderella Story. Chemical research labs in Nashville are experimenting on elephants. Plus, should England be allowed to use erectile dysfunction drugs? Does it look bad for libs that people are dying from heat? Why are mustard lovers coming for us? Let the ocean take you on an all new LIVE!
361: Sharkuations
Grab your 1975 red tape and hunt some sharks on an all new LIVE! If you were in the blockbuster "Jaws," what would you do differently as the shark or as the townspeople? Matt recruits all of Bruce's friends to help take down the Orca. Pat sucks the oxygen out of wet seaweed so he can hunt on land. Plus, is Jaws just The Phantom Menace? Would you rather lose a butt or an arm? Why is Matt mad at Pat for living on bus energy? WeHadaBabyItsaJob and it all happens LIVE!
360: World Cup Madness
Grab your lib algae and go California Dreamin' on an all new LIVE! World Cup fever is sweeping the globe and the Boiz are here to suggest other tournaments that might be fun to watch. They also close the book on the Gaspee Days 5k with a detailed recap of the big event. Matt is the Forrest Gump of Halo 3. Pat wants more dumb people on TV. Cruise Wolfe gets demoted. Plus, Koreans...can they sing? Is Matt allowed to buy art while unemployed? Why can't Pat benefit from things? All that and hockey dentists and it all happens LIVE!
359: Rhode Island LIVE!
Grab your pink beta hog and join us at the zoo for an all new LIVE! The Boiz report LIVE from the Gaspee Days road race and provide both pre- and post-race instant reaction. Then, for the first time in the history of the show, the Boiz record together from Roger Williams Park. Who won the big race? Why do peacocks get to do whatever they want? Are children people? Plus, Matt does a sip of beer. Pat parks two miles from the start line. An enemy of the show crashes the live recording. All that and Jared's Mt. Zion moment and it all happens LIVE!
358: Road Trip Rules
Grab your Croc Guzzler and pour one out for Buddy on an all new LIVE! All aboard the swamp wagon for some rules of the road. Did Kris Kristofferson write Dracula? Will the army of Chesterland be able to take down Mr. Worldwide? Would you stop at the barn from Toy Master? Plus, Pat is in the shape of a four. Matt asks that everybody know their butt. Flip cannot get enough of canned beef jerky. It's not the destination, it's about the drinks you discover along the way. And it all happens LIVE!
357: Gaspee Days 5K Poison Ivy Race for the C**
Grab your banned steroid Olympic running gear and meet us in Pawtuxet for an all new LIVE! We're a week away from the Gaspee Days 5k Poison Ivy Race and the Boiz are going over top storylines. Pat sends emails from his car. Matt gatekeeps his mile time. Reginald Whiteside time travels through a closet. Plus, can Pat beat a 76-year-old? Why does Matt's race playlist make him a serial killer? Has Friend-of-the-Show Jared been edging for twenty years? All that and the Big Blue Bug and it all happens LIVE!
356: Potty Training for Adults
Grab your free airplane headphones and get in line like the rest of us on an all new LIVE! Pat is potty training his firstborn, which gives the Boiz a good excuse to do another complainy episode about how people need to better behave themselves. Matt is no longer a lib mask wearer. Pat forgets butter in his muffins. Plus, if CeeDee Lamb had two months to live, should he be able to circumvent concussion protocol? Why did Matt turn down directing Iron Man? Is Pat wishing for a destabilizing event? If evil people can do it, so can we, and it all happens LIVE!
355: Contract Negotiations
Grab your sailor uniform and head to Indianapolis for an all new LIVE! Matt has agreed to sign a contract to be a worker at Pat's gym, and now all that is left is to negotiate the fine print. Pat details his trip to the most boring city in the world. Matt attends his first farm crawl to surprising results. Friend of the Show Jared hems and haws with the best of them. Plus, is Pat up here umm'ing? What are the logistics of poison ivy? Is Matt the beta in an alpaca hierarchy? All that and dream kinks and it all happens LIVE!
354: I Have Nipples, Amanda, Could You Milk Me?
Grab your nipstick and bring your Patbuster energy to an all new LIVE! Superfan Amanda makes her triumphant return to talk about her experience growing up on a dairy farm. The Boiz are cow curious and bring all their burning questions. How powerful is the stream from an udder? Is raw milk gross? Why is there a big glass ball? Plus, Pat confirms if horses are evil. All cows go to Canada. The pod is getting worse with time. Shareholder’s asked us to raise marginalized voices and we’re doing it LIVE!
353: Moms
Grab your bug-zapping tennis racket and join us at the Adolf Shpunkler Book Letter for an all new LIVE! This week the Boiz are dedicating an entire episode (well, half an episode) to moms: what they do and what they deserve. Does Pat have trouble coming to Matt's defense? Who is the Sassy Assassin? Why haven't they figured out eyes yet? Plus, Pat nearly does violence at a carriage corral and Matt starts a new social media app called MommyShot. It's a postmodern exploration of animal rights and it all happens LIVE!
352: Happy Halfoween
Grab your vague invite and drive down Jeff Foxworthy Highway on an all new LIVE! We're halfway to Halloween, and we are celebrating with a day that's half of a ween, not a full ween. Matt shoves jelly beans in his mouth. Pat's party is super well lit. Halfoween Spirit is a normal guy. Plus, who shot first in the Marvin Gardens War? Why is Matt a pumpkin seed? What did Pat see on his drive through upstate New York that sent him into a blind rage? All that and a haunted beach walk and it all happens LIVE!
351: Chimp Civil War
Grab your sticky muffins and form a new religion on an all new LIVE! There is a chimp civil war raging in Uganda and the Boiz are here to end it. Pat lives for free hotel breakfasts. Matt builds a KongDome. Floridians are wading through hip-high iguanas. Plus, are the western chimps actually time travelers? When did Michael Scott leave baseball? Who would be better at brokering a chimp ceasefire: JD Vance or an orangutan with two broken legs? You've never seen a month be so rude, and it all happens LIVE!
350: Crawls
Grab your social battery and head to the petting zoo with Drake Claye for an all new LIVE! Gotta be some good crawls out there, right? Matt finally tells the story of why he yelled at an airline rep. Pat wants to taste dog milk. Robert De Niro can't speak Italian. Plus, does Pat draw his anger from the earth? Why did a Patriots player give Matt his number? Where did Carl get his Mountain Dew vending machine? All that and nipples vs. udders and it all happens LIVE!
349: The Boiz Solve the Gas Crisis
Grab your dripping tail pipes and sell your egg futures on an all new LIVE! The Boiz have solved eggs, they’ve stopped the fences, they’ve saved baseball, and they’ve tracked down a dangerous lizard. Next on their list? Lowering gas prices. Matt walks eight miles to the movies. Pat’s leg gets scraped like an overripe nectarine. Elon blows another hole five miles up river. Plus, why did we buy all these diesel TVs? Why is Matt horny for a spaceship? Why do dinosaur scales taste so good to cars? All that and yelling at Pat, which is exactly what Chester would want, and it all happens LIVE!
348: We Bought a Zoo
Grab your Guardian cap and join us on the moving walkway for an all new LIVE! The Boiz bought a zoo and it’s time for them to implement their vision. Pat wants parks without borders. Matt puts elephants up for adoption. Mister Lister procures a soul for the depths of hell. Plus, what’s the mediumest animal? Can you discriminate against motorcycle riders? Why do otters smell like acorns? All that and a kick in a glass, and in a pouch, and it all happens LIVE!
347: The Next Great Theme Park Ride
Grab your pseudo-coffin and join us in the rainforest for an all new LIVE! This week the Boiz are upgrading the Universal and Disney theme parks with hot new ride ideas. Pat is the Mulder to Matt's Scully as they uncover more truths about the Roger Williams zoo deaths of 2026. Letterboxd's top 10 movies of the 80s and 90s are revealed. Plus, is Matt's voice finally dropping? Is Jimmy Fallon imprisoned in a gem? Why can't Pat have the glass ball ride? All that and Poseidon's fury and it all happens LIVE!
346: Career Change Advice
Grab your Gaspee Days gauntlet and throw it down in an all new LIVE! Matt's industry is in jeopardy, and the Boiz are spitballing possible career changes. Matt reveals his biggest regret in life. Pat gets a promotion. Norman Coughcheck Jr. kicks Billy the Singing Boy off Broadway. Plus, could Pat put his computer in the cloud? Is the poet laureate a spy? Why does Greta hate baby birds? More gyms, more people, more stuff, and it all happens LIVE!
345: Movie Trek: Final Contact
Grab your butt birth rhino and join us in Hollywood for the final episode in our special movie ranking series! The Boiz are revealing their five favorite movies of the 80s and 90s. Matt has injustice done upon him. Pat loves ice, but not the berg kind. Bill Paxton goes head-to-head with Sam Elliot. Plus, can Matt get re-dragged? How much would you pay for Wonka’s golden ticket? Has Pat ever seen The Goonies? Atticus Articus Finch McGee is here to get revenge and it all happens LIVE!